You have noticed that your child, teen, or adult loved one is showing symptoms of an eating disorder. You worry about what to do and how to help.
In the previous article, we looked at different types of eating disorders and the core psychopathology of those who are more likely to suffer from eating disorders. We also looked at warning signs to look out for that could show that an eating disorder is at play.
If you or someone that you know could be suffering from an eating disorder, recovery is possible. We urge you to not lose hope and to know that the road to recovery is worthwhile and empowering.
The process of healing can be long, but with the right team of professionals and with loving support from family and friends, you will be able to come out the other side victorious.
Stages of Recovery
If you and your loved ones, can understand the different stages of recovery during an eating disorder, this will them help you to progress. It will also help those around you, to continue to support you. When it comes to recovery, you need to view these different stages as a cycle. There are 5 stages of recovery. Below I will list them and we can discuss what each stage means.
- Precontemplation Stage
The pre-contemplation stage shows up when a person believes that they do not have a problem with an eating disorder. Many people who suffer from eating disorders, don’t think that they have a problem. Family and friends will often notice that there is a problem before the individual notices that they have an eating disorder. As a family or as friends, you might notice your loved one restricting their meals, or being obsessed with their weight. You could also notice Bulimia symptoms. What makes eating disorders really difficult, is that the person who is suffering from the eating disorder, will deny that they have a problem; they might also not want to discuss the issue. This is extremely hard, because, how do you help someone who refuses to admit that they have an eating disorder?
During this stage, it is vital, that loved ones and friends show love and offer gentle advice about the devastating effects of an eating disorder. You can mention how an eating disorder can affect their health. Eating disorders are one of the most dangerous types of mental illness. They carry the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. You can also tell them about the positive effects of working through an eating disorder. If you notice that a family member or a friend could have an eating disorder, it is important for you to act. Do not be in denial about their eating disorder. This will only prolong their suffering. Discuss your concerns with your loved one and educate yourself on the symptoms of eating disorders. It can also be easy to rationalize the behaviour of your loved one. You could think that they are just trying to watch their weight, or trying to have “the perfect body”, but if you feel in your gut, that there is a problem, you need to trust your instincts and be aware of the symptoms of an eating disorder. It’s important to act before it gets out of control.
- Contemplation Stage
The contemplation stage begins when the individual realizes that they have a problem and are open to receiving help. At this stage, it is very important to find a good psychotherapist who specializes in eating disorders. At this stage, the person who is suffering from an eating disorder might be very fearful of change. During this period the psychotherapist will help the individual see why the eating disorder is part of their life and how it will have a negative impact on their lives and health. You, as the parent or friend of the loved one who is suffering from the eating disorder, will need to get them professional help; Do not try to deal with the eating disorder on your own. Eating disorders are a serious mental illness that needs a professionals help. Be a good listener and try. If you are struggling emotionally yourself, as a parent or friend, you could also join an eating disorder support group. This can help you find people who are going through the same thing as you. You can share stories and this can help encourage you.
- Preparation Stage
During this stage, the person is ready to change but they are uncertain about how to do so. The physiotherapist will help the person to gain certain coping skills. Such as assertiveness, setting boundaries, and how to deal with negative emotions and thoughts that relate to their eating disorder. A plan of action will also be drawn up. A qualified team will be there to help the person every step of the way. In the team, there will be the psychotherapist, a nutritionist, and a doctor. As family members and friends, you also make up this support team. You can also ask your child or friend, what you can do to help them during the preparation stage and how you can be supportive.
- Action Stage
The action stage can be quite terrifying for the person who is going through the eating disorder. During this stage, they will be ready to take action against their eating disorder and face it head-on. They will be willing to face fears and be open to new ideas and trying different behaviours. At this stage, it is critical for the person to trust their care team. During this stage, the person needs to avoid triggers that can be avoided. These triggers could include scales, and unavoidable stress. You as the parent will need to be loving and caring, but still be able to show tough love, in the sense that you will need to stick to boundaries and the care teams recovery plan. It is also important to not focus on the person’s weight, appearance or shape. Try to keep things positive
- Maintenance Stage/ Relapse
The maintenance stage comes into play when the person has been able to stick to the action plan for 6 months or more. During the maintenance stage, the individual will have learned new behaviors and also new coping methods. They will still be working along with their care team, to revisit certain triggers, so that they can avoid relapse. It’s also important at this stage to find new interests and things that make the person happy. It’s a completely new lifestyle that will bring meaning to the person’s life. As a family, you can praise your child with the progress that they have made. Always remain supportive and kind. Also, keep on the lookout for a potential relapse.
- Preventing Relapse
This can be hard, but it is possible. It is common for people who suffer from eating disorders to relapse. It is part of the process. So don’t lose hope if a relapse happens. It is always important to keep communication open and ask for help. Try to sort out issues as soon as they arise.
Other Recovery Tips
Many of those who have suffered from eating disorders, urge those who are going through recovery to stay honest. Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. Be honest about how you feel, and let others in. Don’t isolate yourself. Keep busy and surround yourself with friends and family. It is also important to practice self-compassion. Forgive yourself if you have a relapse and rest when you need to. Recovery is a process. I once knew a teacher who had been suffering from an eating disorder since she was 10 years old. She said there are still days where she struggles. For her, it has become a lifelong struggle, but because of her determination to never give in, she keeps going. Remember that you are not alone. Many have been there. Many have felt the same way that you do and they have been able to get through it. You can too. Remember that you are worthy of recovery and healthy and happy life.
When it comes to recovering from an eating disorder, the process can be a long journey. But with determination, commitment, and a strong desire to get better, you can get through it. With the right support system and therapists, it will be easier to cope.